Discipline isn't about being rigidly consistent. It knowing Why you care

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Not failing an exam was a virtual badge of honour I wore proudly until my 10th grade at school. Even the best students eventually had to face the grueling English exams of Mr. Michael Vernum, which typically had a 15% pass rate in internal tests. The highest mark one could expect was usually around 50 out of 100. So yes, there was a reason I was so proud of never failing a single exam until then.

But then I failed for the first time—in my 11th-grade Physics exam. The academic standards at home were quite high. My brother, just a year older than me, consistently ranked among the top three in his class. My dad was furious and deeply worried.

He was a firm opponent of private tuitions, believing they focused more on helping students chase grades than offering real education. He was convinced that schools were more than enough to provide what we needed at that age. But the moment I failed, his worry overtook his values. He was worried I was failing at the wrong time in life. Marks were crucial—they paved the way to Engineering in a reputed university. So he decided I needed to start private tuitions for 12th grade.

To his surprise, tuitions for 12th grade started two years in advance, when students entered 11th grade itself. By the time he looked, we were already six months into the new batch. While he got me enrolled in Physics and Maths without much hassle, Chemistry proved to be a challenge. Mr. Laxmanan, a well-reputed teacher, didn’t accept mid-term enrollments. But my dad was convinced he was the best person for the job—known not just for producing good results, but for expecting a level of discipline that exceeded the pursuit of marks.

Every morning at 7:30, my dad would stand outside his office. That was when the morning tuition batch ended and Mr. Laxmanan returned to his office. Each time, he politely declined, saying it was against his policy.

As a 16-year-old, the last thing I wanted was a strict tuition class that began at 6 a.m., especially one that required cycling 5 kilometers every day and crossing a massive bridge. But my dad was relentless. And eventually, his relentlessness paid off.

After weeks of waiting outside, Mr. Laxmanan finally made an exception and agreed to enroll me. To this day, I don’t know whether it was my dad’s persistence or his quiet desperation that changed his mind. But for me, one thing stood out more than anything else—how far my dad was willing to go, even bending his core beliefs, if it meant doing what was best for me.

And that changed something in me.

From that point on, I followed every rule Mr. Laxmanan had. Not because I suddenly became a model student. Not because I had a burning desire to top the exam. But because I didn’t want to let my dad down.

Eventually, I did score 100% in Chemistry board exams. Everyone including Mr. Laxmanan said it was because I was disciplined. That I worked hard. That it was a result of consistency and focus. But deep down, I knew the truth: I wasn’t disciplined for the sake of the marks.

I was disciplined because I had a reason that mattered to me.

And that’s what we often overlook.

So the next time you find yourself falling short—struggling to stay consistent, feeling lazy, losing steam—don’t just remind yourself of what you’re chasing.

Once the “why” becomes real, the discipline often takes care of itself.

One Bias that impacts our decisions:

Outcome Bias:​
Outcome bias is a cognitive bias that refers to the tendency to judge a decision based on its outcome rather than basing it on an assessment of the quality of the decision at the time it was made.

In my case, the decision to enroll me for tuitions might in hindsight look like a great decision as the outcome was positive. But the reasons & mindset I had to achieve is often overlooked. Will the world say it was a good decision had I failed? We had the same information at that point of time when we make the decision. But we often do not acknowledge the uncertainty during the time the decision is made.

One Question to reflect for the week:

A strong question to reflect and understand from your own personal experience.

My Content from last week & Other Relevant Content:

​My guide on how to Iterate & overcome Stagnation in Life & Career​
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​Understand the reason for Why you work & find fulfillment in your word​

Contents that inspired me this week:

​Why nobody can read Anymore - Mark Manson​

In this video, author Mark Manson explores why reading feels impossible lately and what the science reveals about our attention spans.

​AI Is Dangerous, but Not for the Reasons You Think ​

AI ethics researcher Sasha Luccioni thinks we need to focus on the technology's current negative impacts, like emitting carbon, infringing copyrights and spreading biased information. She offers practical solutions to regulate our AI-filled future — so it's inclusive and transparent.

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I hope you enjoyed this week's version. See you next week.

Best wishes,

Nimalan.
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