The life you want to lead should define your Work, Not the other way around!!

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I recently bumped into a friend who was out with his in-laws visiting from India. I asked them if they were enjoying their trip and remarked on how nice it must be to take some time off. While they both said they were glad to spend time with their daughter, her father—who runs his own business—laughed and said it didn’t really feel like time off.

One of his clients had even asked, “How can you afford to be away from work for two whole weeks?”

That line took me back to my own work life in India. Back then, I never really questioned the system. I had just 12 vacation days a year, and you weren’t allowed to take more than one or two days off at a time. Except for me and my friend Jagan—who had a few extra days thanks to our engineering background—most people had a strict one-leave-per-month policy. Back-to-back time off was almost unheard of.

Fast forward ten years, and my relationship with work and time has shifted entirely. Moving to Europe exposed me to a very different approach. Here, 30 days of annual leave is standard. Managers actively encourage you to disconnect. I’m currently on an 18-day break, and not one person has expected me to check my emails.

Of course, my dad often reminds me that this kind of thinking only works in Europe. “Try being an entrepreneur,” he says. “There’s no such thing as real time off. If you're ambitious, you need to be always on.”

And that’s where I disagree—at least partially.

If your ambition is to spend meaningful time with your family and work independently, then your business should be built to serve that goal. It should be a vessel for your values—not a force that reshapes your lifestyle into something unrecognisable.

We often hear phrases like “build the life you want,” but many end up building businesses that trap them in the very routines they were trying to escape. Hustle becomes the default, not because it was chosen, but because the goal was never clearly defined.

This isn't a call for laziness. It's a call for clarity. Rest, ambition, and self-actualisation don’t have to be at odds—they just have to be aligned. And the sooner we define what kind of life we want, the better chance we have at designing work that truly supports it.

One Bias that impacts our decisions:

The Status Quo Bias:​
We tend to stick with pre-set systems or paths, even if they don’t serve us.
In jobs, it’s the vacation policy. In startups, it’s the hustle culture.
Status-Quo bias makes us mistake the norm for the right path.

Challenging defaults—like questioning whether entrepreneurs really need to be “always on”—is a step toward intentional living. You don’t have to accept someone else’s version of ambition.

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One Question to reflect for the week:

This question sounds simple, but most people either skip it or answer it in vague, socially-approved ways ("freedom," "impact," "financial security") without going deeper.

If you are considering your next career move, Define your real life goals—your rhythms, values, and non-negotiables—and reverse-engineer your work or business to support them.

My Content from last week & Other Relevant Content(In Tamil):

​Why companies do not hire talented people? Differentiating between Talent & Skill. ​

​Why do we work? From exploring the reasons for our current 9 to 5 system to how it affects knowledge based work.​

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Contents that inspired me this week:

​Why do hardest workers earn the least?​

The video explores Friedrich Nietzsche’s provocative ideas about moral labor, power, and the illusion of hard work.

​The 4 hour Workday - Dan Koe​

Dan Koe explains how creatives can distill their workweek down to essential, high-impact hours—showing you how to produce meaningful work, avoid burnout, and earn more with less effort.

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I hope you enjoyed this week's version. See you next week.

Best wishes,

Nimalan.
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